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Best Dad Jokes (with a money twist)

Written: 02 September 2022

Author: Kirsty O’Hara

3 min read

Humour is an underestimated superpower for physical and emotional wellbeing. Doctor Peter McGraw speaks about laughter as a tool to help us cope, create, and co-operate. A good laugh can relieve tension and make us more receptive and open minded. More than anything, laughing just feels good.

This week at Flint we celebrate Father’s Day with some money related dad jokes supplied by­ the Flint team, which if nothing else have made us laugh, cringe, or both.

Enjoy a read, share them around, and make someone smile …

15 Money Jokes (that are maybe funny)

1. Knock Knock!

Who's there?


Cash who?

No thanks, but I’ll take a peanut.

- Compliments of Angela

2. What did the comedian say when he walked into the bank?

A - This is a stand-up.

- Compliments of Kirsty

3. What would you call a vampire who is into finance?

A - Account Dracula

- Compliments of Kirsty

4. Q - Where does 007 invest his money?

A - In the bond market.

- Compliments of Bruno

 5. A boy asked his bitcoin-investing dad for 1 bitcoin for his birthday.

Dad: “What? $15,554? $14,354 is a lot of money! What do you need $16,782 for anyway?”

- Compliments of Mike

6. Q - Why did the accountant fall out of bed?

A - Because he forgot his balance sheet.

- Compliments of Jono

7. Always borrow money from a pessimist.

They won’t expect it back.

- Compliments of David

8. Q - How did the pirate get such a good price on his ship?

A - It was on sail

- Compliments of Alex

9. Never lend money to a friend. It's dangerous.

It might damage their memory.

- Compliments of David

10. Why are Irish bankers so successful?

A - Because their capital’s always Dublin.

- Compliments of Kirsty

11. Getting air for your tires has doubled at the petrol station.

Talk about inflation!

- Compliments of David

12. Q - Why do goalkeepers have so much money in the bank?

A - Because they are really good at saving.

- Compliments of Kirsty

13. Did you hear about the guy who made a lot of money investing in apples?

Turns out he was in cider trading.

- Compliments of Bruno

14. Q - When ants go missing, who do you call?

A - Department of Finance.

- Compliments of Kirsty

15. Q - What did the duck say after he went shopping?

A - Put it on my bill.

- Compliments of Gary

... And if you’re more into riddles than jokes, then see if you can guess this one (clue: it’s money related):

RIDDLE: What English word has three consecutive double letters?

Answer: to be released on Flint’s social media channels September 7th

We wish you a weekend filled with smiles!

Happy Father’s Day!



All content shared is of a general nature, current to the time it was penned, and is not financial advice. Before making any investment decisions, please be sure you have completed full due diligence. This should include reading the product disclosure statement (PDS), considering fees and taxation, identifying your time horizons, and understanding the performance history and reputation of the investments you are considering.

Please note: When investing you are not guaranteed to make money (and on occasion you may lose some or all of the money you began with). Seek independent advice to establish if an investment is suitable for your financial situation and long-term wealth generation goals.


Dr Peter McGraw :